My Moral Compass: Shelly Rosenberg on the Power of Permission, Essential Beauty, and Supporting the Families of Children with Special Needs

By Stacey Lindsay

Shelly Rosenberg is invigoratingly warm. When she talks with you, there are no reservations, no attempt at small talk. She's open and forthcoming, willing to share her past in a way that is so honest, it not only tells you a lot about her, it makes you feel as if she knows you. "It's important," she says, "for people to feel heard and feel seen."

Empathy has guided Rosenberg for as long as she can remember. As a child, she wanted to be in the Peace Corps. If she saw someone in pain or struggling with deep sadness, she says "I would want to wrap my arms around them." Much of this deep consideration extends from her experiences. Born to a teenage mother, Rosenberg and her sibling moved constantly, first because of her father's duties in the Navy and later, after her parents divorced, to make ends meet. There was uncertainty and change. But there was also a constant: Wherever they lived, Rosenberg's mother "would always make their place look pretty," she says, recalling one time her mother warmed up a particularly dark, dingy apartment by making curtains out of repurposed fabric. "As bad as it was, there was prettiness around me," she says.

Rosenberg's mother eventually became an interior designer. It would be easy to assume that Rosenberg eventually became one as well. She did—but it wasn't in her immediate adult future. When she graduated college she worked in public relations for several years before deciding to go back to school and study interior design. She realized that she and her mother shared "the same kind of nurturing mentality that knows how to create spaces that make people feel good."

In the years following, Rosenberg built her career in the luxury interior design world. She also married and had two daughters, both healthy, neurotypical girls but with learning disabilities. But soon after, when her children were eighteen-months and three-years-old, she and her husband divorced and Rosenberg, now a single mother, found herself reflecting on the struggles her own mother faced. She remembers thinking, "this is what it feels like to be panicked with two kids." She persevered, and years later met Barry, her current husband. The two had a son together, Ronen, who was born with Down Syndrome. Rosenberg says he was "a fast-forward button to more healing, to deeper empathy, more humility." Ronen introduced Rosenberg to a "a whole new tribe of people" who are faced with extreme challenges of having a child with a serious disorder or illness. "When you have a medically fragile child, and there are not as many resources as there should be for these families, you're just struggling," she says.

The reality was immense. And so was the disconnect Rosenberg began to see between those families and her career. "There is a whole underserved community here where interior design isn't even in their vocabulary," she says. "They're in survival mode." This giant gulf deeply affected Rosenberg because there was no reason for there to be a giant gulf. Beauty is for everyone, believes Rosenberg. And a home that pleases and delights can—rather, should—be accessible to all. As a longtime volunteer for Dwell with Dignity, a nonprofit that offers interior design services to families facing poverty and living obstacles, Rosenberg decided she was going to find her own way to combine interior design with the community "that she felt so passionately for."

All of this—the moving around as a child, the creativity, the empathy—unspools into Rosenberg's current endeavor: Acorn & Oak by Shelly Rosenberg, an online community and membership site offering adaptive, inclusive interior design services and guidance for families who have unique, specific needs. Acorn & Oak serves as an inspiration and a guide, to teach parents how to create a space that best comforts and serves the needs of themselves and of their special needs children. The site also sells products—weighted blankets, mattress pads, and more—that have a service element to them while also providing dignity and beauty.

Rosenberg aims to be a beacon for people to realize that beauty is available to all, no matter their circumstances or challenges. But she is hyper aware of the skeptics; those who may not be able to justify putting time or resources toward aesthetics when there are life criticalities. She's heard from many parents who've said they cannot bring themselves to consider making their space look pretty when they have to purchase pediatric orthotics or take their child to their next hospital visit. "They don't think they deserve it," she says. To that, Rosenberg wants to extend permission. "Even if all I do is impress upon special needs families that regardless of what they're going through, they deserve a pretty home like anybody else does," she says. 

There's also research that supports Rosenberg's endeavors. Our environments dictate our behaviors. Catering to a child's sensory needs, be it with a soothing palette or invigorating textures, can potentially result in less stress and more ease, she says. "Everyone should have a place that fits them like a glove so they can take their game face off and decompress." 

In many ways, Acorn & Oak is a dream that Rosenberg's been manifesting since her youth. The culmination of her desire to help people—and to make them feel seen. She tells a story that particularly indicates her impact and intention. Last year, she traveled to India with Beyond Capital Fund (Rosenberg is an impact investor and a Beyond Capital ambassador) as part of its trip to see—firsthand—the effects of its impact investing. The trip was profound, she says, but she had one regret: that "she got all the way over there and didn't talk to anybody with special needs kids." So when she got home she did some research on Instagram and ultimately connected with a mother in Mumbai who has a daughter with Down syndrome. "Now we're talking all the time and I'm asking her tons of questions about what women in India do if they have a child with Down Syndrome," she says.

She pauses then she continues her thought. "Maybe I can do something to help her."

To learn more about Rosenberg and Acorn & Oak, visit: https://acornandoak.com/.

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